How Time Flys

How Time Flys is a comedy album written by David Ossman and featuring the voice talents of all four members of The Firesign Theatre plus several other contributors. It was originally released by Columbia Records in 1973.

Track listing

Side one

NIGHTSIDE – DECEMBER 31, 1999 (24:10)

CUT 1 – Mark's Awakening (Midnight) (4:40)
CUT 2 – "The Years In Your Ears" with Jim & Nellie Houseafire (recorded in May 1995) (6:30)
CUT 3 – Tweeny and "The Welcome Home" (pre-programmed in October 1995) (10:55)
CUT 4 – Manny, "Shortstop", and Lady Ann (Dawn) (2:05)

Side two

DAYSIDE – DECEMBER 31, 1999 (16:45)

CUT 1 – Consumer Instruction Section with Patsy Pending & Bruno Uvula (Manditory) (2:10)
CUT 2 – Mark, Mr. Motion, and The Memory Loops with Manny and "Shortstop" aboard the "Gilda" (Noon) (8:05)
CUT 3 – Emergency Program Over-Ride with Jim Dundee and W. C. Bingle (Live from Panoramaland 2000) (5:55)
CUT 4 – The System Vs. The Black Hole (New Year's Eve) (:45)

Plot synopsis and commentary

The album tells the story of a solo astronaut, "Mark" (David Ossman) (the same "Mark Time" character who appears in other Firesign Theatre albums^[1]), who was launched in a rocket from Earth years ago on an exploratory voyage to "Planet X". As the story opens, it is December 31, 1999, and Mark's rocket is approaching Earth to finally complete its mission. Mark is awakened from hibernation by the rocket's computer system, and a light-hearted history video recorded five years earlier is played for him to bring him up-to-date on the events that have taken place on Earth during the latter half of the 20th century while he was away. Although Mark is unable to communicate with his Earth landing site, he lands anyway and is greeted by an aged launch facility and an equally aged robot, "Tweeny" (Philip Proctor), who is the sole inhabitant of what is now the "President's Memorial Space Museum". It seems that Earth society has forgotten all about Mark; there are only holographic recordings (one of which is of a now-deceased President Gazatchorn (Phil Austin) who sounds like Richard Nixon) left to welcome him and congratulate him on accomplishing his mission.

As Mark resigns himself to the end of his space career and the start of his retirement, he is drugged unconscious and kidnapped, along with the holographic recordings he made during his voyage. He awakens to find himself high above the Earth in a Zeppelin, the guest of a "Mr. Motion" (Peter Bergman) who plans to market Mark's recordings as entertainment. Mark protests that his research should be made available to the news media and freely disseminated to the public, but Mr. Motion tells him that Mark's news would be judged as no more important than any of the other newsbites that the news media (where it's "All news, all the time") constantly publishes. Mark still protests that his information is "not entertainment, it's real", to which Mr. Motion counters that Mark simply went on location and took photos: that's entertainment.

Mr. Motion brings the Zeppelin above a theme park, "Panoramaland 2000" (not unlike Las Vegas in 2008) that features full-size holograms of world-famous buildings and monuments, and he begins to show Mark's holograms to the public. Mark's holograms combine with the theme park holograms, and the squid-like creatures of Planet X appear to cavort around the theme park. Mark escapes from the Zeppelin and is interviewed by the media, only to be interrupted by an emergency bulletin that announces that a black hole is approaching the Earth. The emergency announcer, however, portrays the upcoming catastrophe as just another interesting news event, albeit one that may finally provide an answer to "the question of infinity". Mark suddenly finds himself back in his rocketship, approaching Earth again; the black hole has put him into a time loop. It appears he will forever have to re-experience the day's events.

Credits

Philip Proctor as Tweeny®
Peter Bergman as Mr. Motion & Dr. Progresso Sweetheart
Phil Austin as President William D. Gazatchorn
Wolfman Jack as Jim Dundee
Harry Shearer & Penny Nichols (a singer^[1]) as Jim & Nellie Houseafire
Lew Irwin as W. C. Bingle
Helena Kallianotes (one of the hitchhikers in Five Easy Pieces^[1]) as Roxanne Pavemente
Jock Livingston (a Hollywood restaurant owner^[1]) as Gen. George "Crash" Gorgon, USAF, Ret.
Tiny as Nurse Angela & Chuquita Bandana
Richard Paul as "Shortstop," Manny Grossero & Bruno Uvula
Anna Cheverton Drury as Lady Ann®
Jon Knoll as The Ground Control Dude
Sheilah Wells as Patsy Pending
Freddy Burns as Himself
Steve Gillmor as Arnie Zonker
Mike Rozsa and Scott Weintraub
David Ossman as "MARK"

Issues

Stereo LP - Columbia KC-32411
Audio CD - laugh.com 126:LGH1149.2

LP Contents

The Stereo LP includes a stiff paper insert that can be broken apart and assembled to form a "3-D Diorama" of the album cover art, which shows Mark descending from the Zeppelin over Panoramaland 2000.

The LP insert states that the album was written and produced from March 11, 1973 to June 7, 1973 "in Wally Heider Studios 3 & 4 and on location".

References

David Ossman. How Time Flys. Columbia, 1973.

1 2 3 4 Ossman, David (May 2003). "David Ossman - How Time Flys CD". laugh.com. Retrieved 2008-04-09.

The Firesign Theatre

Performers

Phil Austin Peter Bergman David Ossman Philip Proctor

Albums

Commercial	Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers I Think We're All Bozos on This Bus Dear Friends Not Insane or Anything You Want To The Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra Everything You Know Is Wrong In the Next World, You're on Your Own Forward into the Past Just Folks... A Firesign Chat Nick Danger: The Case of the Missing Shoe Fighting Clowns Lawyer's Hospital Shakespeare's Lost Comedie The Three Faces of Al Eat or Be Eaten Shoes for Industry: The Best of Firesign Theatre Anythynge You Want To Back from the Shadows Pink Hotel Burns Down Give Me Immortality or Give Me Death Boom Dot Bust Bride of Firesign Radio Now Live Papoon For President All Things Firesign

Non-commercial	Dear Friends A Firesign Chat with Papoon Let’s Eat - Syndicated Radio Program The Proctor-Bergman Report The Cassette Chronichles

Related	TV or Not TV How Time Flys Roller Maidens from Outer Space What This Country Needs Give Us a Break Daily Feed 1988 Newsreel - The Daily Feed The George Tirebiter Story Chapter 1: Another Christmas Carol George Tirebiter's Radiodaze The George Tirebiter Story Pt.2 Mexican Overdrive / Radiodaze A Capital Decade Daily Feed 1989 Newsreel - The Daily Feed The George Tirebiter Story Pt.3 The Ronald Reagan Murder Case Down Under Danger Tales Of The Old Detective And Other Big Fat Lies David Ossman's Time Capsules

Bibliography

The Firesign Theatre's Big Book Of Plays The Firesign Theatre's Big Mystery Joke Book The Apocalypse Papers, a Fiction by The Firesign Theatre Backwards Into The Future: The Recorded History of the Firesign Theatre

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